Morals from Chinese Stories: The importance of keeping our word to others
Like Aesop’s fables, many Chinese stories teach morals. Being trustworthy is one of the most important morals to many Chinese. They disdain people who cannot be trusted. From a young age, children are taught that their word is their bond. They are brought up by examples shown by their elders and from stories from history.
The Stories
Below are two stories. One is a very famous story. This story happened more than two thousand years ago. It is about a student of Confucius. The other is about my own experience when I was a young girl more than fifty years ago.
Zengzi Slaughters a Pig (曾子杀猪）
One day, Zengzi’s wife needed to go to the market. Their little child cried and made a fuss because he wanted to follow her. She managed to coax him to stay at home by telling him that she would slaughter a pig and cook it for him when she got back. When she got home, she discovered that Zengzi had tied up a pig and was about to slaughter it. She rushed over to try to prevent this. She hadn’t meant for her words to be taken seriously. Zengzi replied gravely, “ Our child is too young to know right from wrong. He learns from his parents. If his mother deceives him, he will learn how to deceive others. Also if a child cannot trust his mother, how will she be able to teach him other things/morals? What will happen to this family?” Zengzi then proceeded to slaughter the pig and used the meat to cook a meal for his son.
Lessons from the story “Zengzi Slaughters a Pig”
The story teaches the importance of keeping our word. If we don’t keep our word, we break the trust that others have in us. They become disillusioned. We have deceived them. Without trust, we cannot engage with others in a meaningful way. Deception also has a knock-on effect. It is learned from others. It is a downward spiral. The opposite is true. Nurturing and modeling trustworthiness is a life skill and value that we should teach to our children.
Dr Gao(高医生）and a little pot of orchids
My father had a friend named Dr Gao. My father deeply admired Dr Gao who was a very learned person in Chinese culture. His hobby was growing orchids. During one of our visits to his home when I was about seven or eight, my mother told Dr Gao that I was a little gardener too. When Dr Gao heard this, he laughed and told me that I could have any plant from his huge garden as a present. I had lots of fun searching around and finally found a tiny orchid plant. The plant had one large pink flower. When I brought the little pot to my mother and Dr Gao, their faces turned pale. My mother asked me to pick another plant. I nodded and turned to search for another orchid plant. But Dr Gao stopped me. He insisted on giving me the plant despite protests from my mother that I was just a little girl. He handed the pot back to me and said, “ I don’t go back on my words.” Later, I learned that this was a very precious orchid plant. Dr Gao had only two such plants: the mother plant and my little plantling.
Lessons I learned from Dr Gao
Some twenty years after this, Dr Gao made a speech at my wedding. I felt so very touched and honoured. I am very blessed to have known Dr Gao. He is one of those “Officer Class” people who have influenced me and whom I aspire to become. Dr Gao showed me so much respect even when I was just a little girl. In those days, people had many children and getting an individual present was already something very special. He let me choose my own plant and then kept his word to let me have it even though it was something very precious to him. He taught me the importance of keeping one’s word and being a trustworthy person.
It takes a village to raise a child
Yesterday, I came across the story, “Zenzi slaughters a pig”. I found the story to be very meaningful. It had some very important lessons that are worth learning or reminding. This is especially true in this world that is now increasingly filled with fake news and alternate facts. I also thought of Dr Gao. As a Chinese scholar, he must have known the story too. Dr Gao was not related to me but he helped to raise me. And so I wrote this article to share with all of you.